Acting happy and cheerful when really you're just plain FURIOUS inside is the worst kind of feeling in the world. It's a mixture of anger, pettiness, helplessness, and guilt. I'm angry at whatever made me mad in the first place, but also at myself for not being able to either let go of it or find a solution. I feel petty and feel like picking on everything about everyone, and don't feel like doing any favours for anyone. I feel helpless because I know there's a limit to all this, and that sooner or later I ought to stop being angry, but mostly because there's that steel cage of "happy girl" that I can't seem to bust out of. And then there's the guilt; the guilt that comes from letting out a bit of the monster seething underneath the surface to those closest to me; they usually get the brunt of my anger.
And then there are the days when those kind of people are the ones making you feel like a disaster zone inside, and those are the days that everything is intensified.
Today is just one of those days.
Stupid.

More Peanut Butter Cookies...

I definitely wasn't as much of a fan of these cookies as the other ones...these were just too brittle and hard to be classified as good PB cookies. To me, a good PB cookie is soft but a little crunchy from the tiny sugar crystals, and is chock-full of creamy peanut-buttery goodness. My sis described this texture as "suffocating" but I say PSHHH that's what peanut butter's supposed to be like! Well, I'm someone who eats a spoonful of PB in the morning with my banana, so I guess if you don't like PB and its natural texture too much then you won't really like these cookies. I don't know. All I know is that these are PB cookies that TASTE PB.

Oh. Wait a minute. I thought I was still talking about the cookies I posted about earlier today. Whoops!
These cookies here were alright, but rather dry for my taste. I also didn't have any crunchy PB on hand, so that may have made a big difference in the texture of the cookie. The PB I used was also organic and had no sugar added (only thing in there was peanuts!), so if you use some other brand the cookies will probably turn out sweeter.

Erm. I'm not sure which pictures are which...before or after baking?? These didn't really turn brown at all for me.

Peanut Butter Cookies From here

Ingredients:

1 cup white sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup crunchy peanut butter
1 egg
½ cup uncooked oats1 tbsp vanilla extract
All you have to do is mix everything together and then spoon them on the cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes.

Except...I decided to just squish the dough up into dense little balls. And I wanted to make them into peanut butter blossom-style cookies. But no one told me that you had to wait until AFTER the cookies were baked and hot to push a chocolate chip into them! So I did this before, when the dough was cold, and I was very puzzled as to why the cookies all crumbled into a big mess as soon as I pushed down on them. Fun stuff. Next time, I might do this with another recipe, preferable one that doesn't use oats since I think that made the dough even crumblier.

Peanut Butter Cookies- Flourless and EASY AS HECK

Alright. These cookies are IT. They have a nice sugary crunch, are soft and creamy like actual PB, and only require 3 ingredients, which makes them sooo easy to mix up and pop into the oven. Took me less than half an hour to have them baking and making the house all lovely-smelling. I love PB cookies...I've gotta figure out how to make a good PB-chocolate cookie soon because I loooove Reese's pieces. Favourite chocolate bar ever. Mmmm.

Here are some pictures:

A Day Like This...

a day like this calls for cookies and and greek yogurt with tons and tons of ooey-gooey honey. greek yogurt is my substitute for ice cream. i figure, if i'm eating something to feel good, why the heck would i eat something that feels good at the moment but horrible after the last smooth, cold, creamy spoonful makes it down my throat? i can get all that from yogurt.
and today? yeah. i need some of that today. something to help me forget what's going on around me, something to help me figure out how to feel. properly. because right now everything's a muddle. a big, huge mess.
not good.
hopefully that half-container of greek yogurt'll help some.